Prayers Please
I am finally quick about recognizing the beginning of a valley in my depression. For about 5 months I've been riding it out pretty steady. I swear to all of you that I am not even thinking so much about the fact that it is June. It is like my body remembers on it's own. I know the sinking is starting because #1. I go from eating 3 meals a day to forgetting about eating at all. #2. I want to lay down in the afternoon. #3. Church seems annoying to me. Just got back and it was annoying. When I start to sink I think the pastor is making good stuff up. #4. Going to a hotel and sleeping for days without interruption sounds great.
I'm done laying down to this crap! It is starting but I recognize it early now. Amy D just invited me to the pool at 3. I WILL GO! I WILL GO! I WILL GO! I will not isolate because then it gets worse. Please pray....I want to feel reasonably happy and energetic. Maybe starting chemistry tomorrow will lift my spirits. Having a positive goal to shoot for is always helpful and a good distraction at this time of year.
PS-Funny! I was at the pool yesterday and some guy asked me what the tattoo on my back meant. Seriously, I forget it's even there because it doesn't usually show in clothes. For those of you who haven't seen it is says free 06-25-06 and obviously stands for my Dad's passing. His stretch song was about being free so that is how it was picked. Long story short....when the guy asked me I told him it was when I got out of jail. LOL! Going into the whole death suicide thing was just such a downer. I wish you guys could have seen his face when I made the jail comment. HILARIOUS!
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Huan Qiu Ji
Timmy
Molly
Me
Hi! My name is Amy. My husband and I have two kiddos and a third on the way. Molly is three, Timmy is two (adopted from S. Korea), and Lindsay Ji is waiting for us in China. I love my family, our four dogs, photography, yard work, running, Disney World :), listening to music and being outside! My life has been a series of hills and valleys and I am most certainly a work in progress. My Dad and my Aunt both committed suicide and those grief experiences have shaped my life in a way I never imagined. I pray that one day my story of suicide survival can bring hope to others in similar situations. I'm also a first grade teacher in Dallas, Texas and am blessed to spend my days surrounded by kiddos! Thanks for stopping by!
amycookmeeker@yahoo.com
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4 comments:
Hey! Please know that we are ALWAYS around and up to whatever! I am doing summer school, but will be home by 1:00. Just let me know and we can swim, go the mall, park, whatever! Don't feel like you have to sit home by yourself and be sad!!
OH Amy, you are a hoot. I do love the jail comment.
I'll keep you in your prayers and in my positive thoughts. I know every minute is a tough choice when on the downward spiral. I agree, I think Chemistry will be a good focus!
I love that you are sharing this walk with us! AMAZING!!!
I will pray for you each and every day. I had a feeling you were having a hard time...funny how I just sent you an e-mail this morning about this.
And I can't believe the first thing that come to your mind was getting out of jail! HA! I think you need to think of a more reasonable thing:)
the jail thing is funny! and i will most definitely keep you in my prayers and have my little guys do the same. nothing beats the prayer of an innocent child. molly is a doll by the way and makes me want a girl so bad!
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