Day 16

Day 16 Walking! Molly was walking alone on Monday, January 19.

Day 15

Day 15 The Park. We love the park and walking path 1 mile from our house.

Dat 14

Day 14 Going back to school. Ok, I really wasn't going to tell anyone but I'm too excited! I am going back to school. When I started college I wanted to be a nurse. My freshman year my grades were not good enough to get into the college of nursing. So, I decided to teach. I can't live my whole life wondering what might have been. So.......with much thought and prayerful consideration I (we) are doing it. TWU has a bridge program for the more mature student-teeeheeeeheee! I will continue my job at ESD and go to school Friday nights and Saturdays (when and if I am accepted to the program). Right now I am taking 1 pre-req class, nutrition on Monday nights! If it goes as planned I'll have my nursting degree when Molly starts kindergarten. Then I won't have to miss the first day of dropping her off or her school parites. I couldn't take it. I have 7 more re-reqs to take; chemistry, anatomy 1 and 2, microbiology, us government, and statistics. Pray for good grades!!!!!!!!

Day 13

Day 13 More Psychodrama. (Alot to be thankful for) I have to say that the psychodrama was physically and mentally exhausting. I think that is the reason I haven't posted this week. My "psychodrama" of course revolved around my Dad's suicide. The therapist let me choose where to start. So, that is what came out of my mouth first. I can't explain the whole process but what I have taken from it is huge. Two things always to remember about suicide. 1. Suicide will always be part of my life. 2. At some point you have to move forward with gusto! 3. Yes I said two but it's really three part. The suicide and moving forward with gusto will always go hand in hand. At times they will seperate and other times be together. Confused a little but I "get it". The most valuable thing I learned there is that I can still have JOY and remember my Dad at the same time. You know it's weird even 2 1/2 years later I'll be playing at the park with Molly and some horrific thought will pop into my mind. (graphic things that I won't say on my blog) This is the way life will be for me for a long, long time. One friend told me that I had 2 years to grieve my Dad. I've for some reason believed this. The psychodrama therapist said 2 years was only the beginning. So, I need to be real and say that this still affects my every day life. Even writing that on the blog makes me feel guilty or needy. I'm not looking for more sympathy, just friends and a place to say what is on my mind, instead of stuffing. Maybe one day (years from now) I'll be the wounded healer and bless some other suicide survivor's life.

Day 12

Day 12. Psychodrama. It's a type of therapy (the name makes it sound very crazy). I wish they called it something else so it wouldn't give such a bad first impression. I went to one today and it was like 1 year of counseling all in one day. It's hard to explain the process in words so I am not going to attempt it. You can find out brief detail on www.wikapedia.com Talk about unloading some grief. I'm so glad I risked it and put myself out there. Wow!

Day 11

Day 11 Compassion International. http://www.compassion.com/ It's my favorite charity. They release children from poverty in the name of Jesus. Your $30 a month provides clothing, food, Bible school, and medical help for one child. Last year I gave one of my girls $10 for her birthday. She wrote me and said that she had purchased soap, writing paper, pencils, meat, rice, 2 dresses and a goat! Then she sent me a picture of her with her pet goat. You hear about these programs all the time and wonder, is this for real? Where is my money going? The children we sponsor write us letters on a monthly basis. Compassion also organizes yearly trips to all of the 3rd world countries to meet the children. Love it and yes I am hoping that all of you will check out their website and pick up a kiddo!

Day 10

Day 10 Miss M! 3 months old

Day 9 #2

Day 9 #2-The smell of dogs. Yes, that's right. Not how they smell when they dig up dead things in the yard. Just the "dog smell". Does anyone know what I am talking about? It's 1:00 am and I can't sleep. I just passed by the bathroom where Honey and Zoey are sleeping. It smells like dog, 240 pounds of dog for that matter. Makes me feel so at home.

Honey and Zoey on their new beds.

Day 9

Day 9 Doctors. I don't love going to the doctor but I sure am thankful for them so, yep they made the gratitude list. I actually had 2 doctor's appointments today. My psychiatrist is trying to help me rule out any other health issues in relation to depression. I have 2 doctors I LOVE! 1. Dr. Barry Knezek. He is the most wonderful caring psychiatrist on the planet. I know it's true because in the past several years I've dealt with many. 2. My OB-Dr. Mary Ann Franken. I feel like she saved Molly's life. She is the absolute best!

Day 8

Day 8 The movies!!!! I haven't been to a movie theatre in a whole year. This weekend I got to go twice. I saw Bride Wars with my girl cousins. We laughed and cried the whole way through. Today I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with my Mom. It was excellent!!!!

Day 7

Day 7 S.M. Lockridge Sermon
S.M. Lockridge was an African American, evangelical preacher. From what I have read he preached this sermon without any notes. There is a video of the sermon. I bought it and tried to upload but it won't. Typing it out does NOT do it justice. I wish I could program my alarm clock to play it.

The Bible says my KING is the king of the Jews
He is the KING of Israel
He's the KING of righteousness
He's the KING of the ages
He's the KING of heaven
He's the KING of glory
He's the KING of kings and he's the Lord of Lords
THAT'S MY KING!
I wonder do you know him?
My KING is a sovereign king
No means of measure can define his limitless love
He's enduringly strong
He's entirely sincere
He's eternally steadfast
He's immortally graceful
He's imperially powerful
He's impartially merciful
Do you know him?
He's the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world
He's God's son
He's a sinner's savior
He's the centerpiece of civilization
He's unparalleled
He's unprecedented
He is the loftiest idea in literature
He's the highest personality in philosophy
He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology
He's the only one qualified to be an all sufficient savior
I wonder, do you know him?
He supplies strength for the week
He's available for the tempted and the tried
He sympathizes and sustains
He guards and he guides
He heals the sick
He cleansed the lepers
He forgive sinners
His discharges debtors
He delivers the captive
He defends the feeble
He blesses the young
He serves the unfortunate
He regards the aged
He rewards the diligent and he beautifies the meager
I wonder if you know him?
He's the key to knowledge
He's the wellspring of wisdom
He's the doorway of deliverance
He's the pathway of peace
He's the roadway of righteousness
He's the highway of holiness
He's the gateway of glory
Do you know him?
His life is matchless
His goodness is limitless
His mercy is everlasting
His love never changes
His word is enough
His grace is sufficient
His reign is righteous
And his yoke is easy and his burden is light
I wish I could describe him to you
He's indescribable
He's incomprehensible
He's invincible
He's irresistible
You can't get him out of your mind
You can't get him off of your hand
You can't out live him and you can't live without him
The Pharisees couldn't stand him but they found out the couldn't stop him
Pilot couldn't find any fault in him
Herod couldn't kill him
Death couldn't handle him and the grave couldn't hold him!
That's my KING!

Day 6

Day 6. Bob and I are staying at the Cresent Hotel in Dallas tonight. I won the grand prize at our school carnival this year. 1 night at the cresent, dinner at Perry's and a spa package for 2. Mom and Mamie are having a slumber party with Molly tonight. I hope I am not too sad to leave her. Should be fun!

Day 5

Day 5. My cousin Shannon (ER nurse at parkland). Last night I was desperate for some girl time. Shannon met me at our favorite spot, El Fenix for $4.99 enchilada night. YES! She is 7 years younger than me so in a way I feel like her Aunt but not so much anymore now that she is 26 yrs old. This is a picture of her with M in October. She kidnapped M from the baby house that day!

Day 4

Day 4. ERASURE!!!! Having a favorite band. I have loved Erasure since I was 13. Seen them in concert about 12 times, front row each time. Andy Bell (the lead singer) and Vince have been making happy pop music for 25 years now. I never tire of them. For awhile there I was wanting to name Molly Andie Bell Meeker. It was really just to see if I could write them and let them know. Then maybe I would be their favorite fan :) See it's totally out of control! If it's a bad day I pop in the video and dance around. I'm sure they will make the gratitude list again. Best song........so many to choose from but overall I would say Oh l'Amour. PS-No these boys are not married to each other :) Vincie has a kid and a wife.

Day 3

Day 3. This smile!

Day 2

Day 2. Honey Girl 13 moths ago and H.G. now. Gained 70 pounds and lost the horrific mange.
Molly's favorite small horse.

Day 1. A job with kids. At my job we spent the month of December working on a Christmas play about the birth of Jesus. These girls were the birds. Loved the costumes!!!

Favorite Photos

Football Boys

As some of you know I have had some ups and downs at my new job. On a high note I took Molly to some of the kids sporting events this fall. Most of them play on the same teams so I've been to see all of them participate in something they love. Here are a few of my boys with Molly at their football game. I never think boys will be so excited to see me outside of school but they were. Cuties!

Shower Baby

Molly Kate has loved the water since about 3 months of age. When we get in the shower now she opens the door and climbs in too. She has even been known to do it with her clothes on. She sits right under the water too. Swimming this summer anyone?

New Year's Resolution Anyone???

Happy 2009! I never do this but what the heck......
I have 3 New Year's Resolutions this year.

1. To fit back into my skinny jeans. I can wear them but they push a little fat over the top. You know what I am talking about girls, the "muffin top". I've been running so hopefully I'll be able to wear them comfortably in a few months.

2. Recycle! Most people already do this. In The Branch we aren't given bins so I made my own and found a drop off 1 mile from home. EASY!

3. To read the entire Bible from beginning to end. There is a reading plan on www.biblegateway.com 10 minutes a day. I've always wanted to and my Bible knowlegde is lacking to say the least.

Does anyone else have a resolution?